these won't survive

It's like i'm caught in this endless spiral.
Voluntarily or not,
It only matters a tad now;
Cause i'm about to fall
and break into a million pieces.
Then, one day, i'll be fixed again.

It's fading away, too fast for my liking.
There's so little left to grab onto.
What was once a rush, have subsided like a calm ocean after the downpour that answered my prayers.

I could lay here, and just close my eyes for awhile.
I could seek then take in all the beauty of this.
But it aches my heart.

Why did it fade away so regrettably?